June 26th, 2011 | 
Author: Question: My husband buys things to shut me up, but never follows through. All kinds of windows/doors/ improvements.?
He will buy all kinds of “improvements” for the home, but never installs them. Buys toys for my son, but doesn’t really like to “play” with him. It isn’t to the point of obsession, he really only buys things so we shut up and quit nagging….which I don’t believe is a “true” nag. What does this show signs of?
Answer:
Answer by bakfanlin
Well, if it works…… and you shut up…
I figure he’s reached the original goal.
Posted in Home Improvement | 
Tags: buys, follows, husband, improvements, kinds, never, shut, things, Through, windows/doors/
Ummm…well….shows signs that you ARE nagging….
Why don’t you HELP him install all those things he buys for you….it could open a whole new avenue to your relationship…
Your tendency towards gullibility?
Sounds like he’s tired of the commitments he made; to you, to your home, and your son. That in itself doesn’t make him a creep, but it’s a good thing to be concerned about now. You two need a talk. I don’t know how many hours you each work, or how tiring your jobs are, but the pattern you’re in is a destructive one. Your resentment will continue to grow, and he may continue to distance himself from family life. His buying things for the home show good intentions, but his follow-through is lacking. Talk, soon. Should you hire people to install the things he’s purchased? Does he need a “night out” with you only once in a while? Your son’s needs must be made more important in his list of priorities, but you’re going to have to work as a team to straighten this one out.
maybe you should step back and evaluate how you talk to him. if you are constantly DEMANDING instead of asking and putting it a way that makes him feel good and think that he came up with the idea than maybe you could get more from him and completed projects around the house. bottom line CHANGE YOUR APPROACH in talking to him. GodBless
This is what you do…
Hire someone to install & finish his projects.
Get your Son involved with Big Brothers…
Once your Husband sees he is being replaced, he’ll want to join in.
Your relationship sounds like is it struggling and in trouble. This issue has nothing to do with windows and doors.
He is detached from you and your child and not involved. He is in a sense buying you off to shut you up. Doing just enough to get by and out of the dog house. He may for what ever reason feel trapped and in a no win situation.
YOu all need to get some help and learn how to talk and work together to rediscover the we’ness of your marriage and commitment to each other.
Sounds like you are not having much fun either
Dr Phil has a good workbook for couples call Relationship Rescue. It has helped several couples I know who were on a rocky path.
Best wishes
Actually, I think it’s kind of cute.
It probably shows that he is a procrastinator. Self-defeating. Somewhere along the line he keeps losing the thread of what he meant to do. Maybe it’s a passive-aggressive response to the ‘nagging’.
I think rather than act disappointed at his failure to follow through try praising him for what he’s bought and start putting it together, playing with it yourself. Ask him to join you. Given enough time I bet he does.