December 4th, 2010 | 
Author: Question: LADIES!!!! Why do some of you feel that the ENTIRE house should be decorated only your way?
Here’s the deal. I have owned my house for 11 years.
In all that time I have never lived with a girl until recently. It is a decent sized house. 4 bedrooms,3 full bathrooms,2 living rooms and 2 dining rooms.
The girl I have been with for just over a year just moved in a few months ago. Until that time,my whole house was decorated as a Bar/pub/lounge. I put alot of my stuff into storage and consolidated down into just one dining room and one living room which are connected ( I took the smaller pair) for my style of decor.
I told her that she may decorate the larger living room and larger dining room, all 4 bedrooms,and all 3 bathrooms any way she wants.
Well she is not happy with that. She wants the whole house her way and calls my decor “stupid” Well what is stupid to her is important to me. I dont really like flowers and potpourri,but I know its important to her.
I am not budging on this and I am not asking if I am right or what should I do. I have the right to come home from a hard day at work and be happy in my surroundings.
What I want to know is for the ladies that are like her and agree with her. My question is:
Why does she feel that she has some right to the entire house to be decorated her way and nothing my way? And before anyone suggests that I should compromise,read my entire section above and you will see that I am already MORE than compromising.
Answer:
Answer by OSCAR
Very few women would want to live with a Bar/pub/lounge decor. You have to decide which is more important to you – your decor or a long term companion
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You need to tell her to back off.
I always ask hubby what he wants, but he usually doesn’t care, but its just common courtesy to ask.
If you dont get her to back off now then i would be worried what will happen next
Good luck
Because they are home makers.
When most people go home, they want to go home to a home, not a bar/pub. When you invite people to your home, you want them to come to your home, not your pub. But that’s just the woman’s point of view. Man’s point of view: They haven’t the slightest idea how to give a home a harmonious look. Show men a man that likes curtains or has a taste for curtains and window treatments, and I’ll show you a real oddity. Leave the decorating to the ladies. It will keep them very happy and you life will be much better. For sure. Good Luck.
Ha ha ha, my friend! You’re in good company! My wife also seems to think that way. Well, I don’t suppose we should take it too hard, as our love for our lady is of far greater value than all our material wealth or the comfort these materials bring to us.
Just say your gf for decoration.
Its just traditional for the woman to nurture the cave whilst the hunter and gatherer goes out. Young girls like their wendy houses!
Have rules and stick to them. I have a rule of ‘No flowers of any sort’ . If i see one it goes in the bin immediately. There are substitutes for flowers – like dried plants
Literally collect up ALL (!no expense spared or exceptions whatsoever!) items with flowers, in one swoop, and flog them at car boot sales or charity shops. Get rid of them ALL!!!!
Stand your ground, be a man- she will respect you for it
Now surf the net together and choose a colour scheme that you are ‘both’ happy with.
I also think that you think that compromise means – To give in . ie: submission.
Compromise is not submission – compromise is a middle ground where you are both happy
i know where you are coming from, when my boyfriend (now husband) got out first place together i was quite strong about my decor tastes i like clean contemporary decor, he didnt really have a style but would input his choice of colour, years later when we had an argument he told me i was too head strong and never listened to him and thats why the whole house represents me and not us. i was quite hurt by this but thinking backr ealised that there was some truth to this.
i agree though you have been very generous in only keeping two rooms for your self, perhaps like me she is over excited by the idea of decorating – chances are after doing a few rooms she might even give up, but what you could do (my husband does this with me) is that we go out for a meal or drinks to a casual eaterie and take loads of sampes and stuff, the more interested heis in the scheme the more we do things together and the more we get done, try this it might just work. she might just realise how understanding you have been and she will leave your two rooms alone or alternatively she may even come up with an idea to make it better, listen to her and work on it together it will defo help your future living arrangements and communication and its also less likely that she will push on and decoarte using colours that you may hate.
I know you said ladies,but I am answering to give you support and to tell you to stay STRONG!!
DO NOT give in to her. I ended things with one of my exes for very similar reasons. I am now with a girl who understands that she does not get everything her way. We both respect each others needs and wants and we each get an equal share of our way and an equal share of things where we sacrifice for the other.
Thats how it should be and I would never be with a girl like the one you are describing.
Basically because she will just continue to want more and more her way.
Give her an inch,and she will take a mile. Give her a cookie,and she will demand milk.
Be strong brother.
EDIT: To the idiot suugesting that you need to find middle ground,I would say that he didnt read your ENTIRE question. It looks and sounds to me like you have done MORE than find middle ground. In fact it looks like you came about 75% while your girl only came 25%.
But she sounds like she wants the whole 100%.