Archive for the ‘Home Improvement’ Category

Question: migraine cure xxx funny or not xxxx?
A man comes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

“Listen,” says the doc. “I have migraines, too…and the advice I’m going to give you isn’t really anything I learned in medical school, but it’s advice that I’ve gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand….especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have s*x…and almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks.”
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. “Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I’ve had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!”

“Well,” says the physician, “I’m glad I could help.”

“By the way, Doc,” the patient adds, “You have a really nice house.”

Answer:

Answer by skybluecarp
and a good wife too
star awarded

The red jumpsuit apparatus’s home inprovement with lyrics…enjoy x-cairo-x

season 7 episode 10

Question: My stupid carpet cannot be cleaned, what would you do?
So I have a house we bought 4 years ago and the owner did not take care of it. The owner was whisked off to a home and her son managed the sale as guardian, didn’t spend a dime to repair it until it was on the market for over a year when he made minor improvements probably at the begging of his realtor.

One of the “improvements” was that he put in a carpet for the cheapest amount possible. The carpet is horrible, it sheds and it holds every stain known to man. Oh yes, it’s a pale beige so you can see everything. Regular length cheap carpet, not marbled or berber, just your basic cheap beige carpet.

Fast forward several years, we never got the money to replace it and we have kids and dogs and the carpet’s gotten worse. We have a wonderful cannister Bissel and in the past it’s worked its little heart out and gotten the floor so clean.

But this summer I’m doing my Bisseling and it’s ridiculous, most of the large stains (spilled soda, deeply embedded mud) are coming out BUT there’s a horrible greyish marbling effect in the carpet that appears to be widespread. It appears to be your wear marks not spills or food that seems to be coming out ok. I’ve been giving it the twice and three times over with the Bissel and these grey marbled stains are not budging. I am using hot tap water with the hose and a hot water solution of the formula (ours is the pet one 2x concentrate) and I’m not sure what’s going on.

1) is the carpet just too cheap/old/miserable to be cleaned?
2) am I using the wrong kind of soap?
3) do I need to pretreat it or something? My time is really valuable and I’m not sure how much I can take before I give up.

Answer:

Answer by Denis Mitrowski
Carpeting is impossible to get really clean. I took 1 room at a time, took up the carpeting and disposed of it. I replaced it with vinyl tiles in some areas and ceramic tiles in high traffic areas. This was done over a period of several years (as I could afford it). I put throw rugs in places where I needed them. When these get “grungy” I throw them away and get new ones. The smooth floors are a snap to clean and even smells clean.

Question: Need advice from one who seriously knows Taxes regarding Real Estate Investments?
Bought a “fixer upper” house (SC, USA) in 2008 and live in it now. I know I have to wait 2 yrs to sell if I don’t want to pay taxes at all. I’d like to sell it now though.

If it is my ‘personal” residence and I sell now, then I cannot deduct repairs etc..maybe only “improvements” but not paint or repairs for sure.

Now I live in a vacation spot, so if I go on my own vacation and rent this out for a week or two in Nov. & Dec. Does that then turn my ‘residence’ into an ‘investment’ property so I can then deduct those things so I can pay less tax on my profit?

We knew we would flip it but really thought we’d stay 2 years so we got a normal homeowner loan, not an investment loan. We have to prove to the IRS that we meant it as an investment to deduct these things. We did mean it, but since we did not get an investment loan I think the only way to go is to actually rent it out. But I only want to do that if it would definitely work.. Or would that just make it a 2nd home?

Would this work? Thanks for your expertise!
Ok, so I found out I can’t do that.. how can I prove I meant to flip it? I guess the tax law is all about “intent.” I need to sell it now, not after 2 years, so what CAN I do to prove intent?

Answer:

Answer by Sharon T
How much profit are you talking about here? What tax bracket are you in? If your income isn’t high, you may be in the zero bracket for long term capital gains. Just be sure you have held it a year before you sell it.

Calculate the tax if you are in the 15% bracket and decide if you are willing to wait the two years to avoid paying that tax.

This is a time when you may be wise to seek counsel from a good tax preparer who can help you pencil out the consequences.

by PB-PSBear

Question: Should I withdraw..Or gamble this class? HELP!?
I’m a sophmore at university, and I’ve never struggled academically like I have this semester. The math class is what worries me.
I do my homework, but i bomb EVERY weekly quiz. She let’s us correct them for half credit, but sometimes she decides I haven’t written down enough of my “how I solved the problem”.
She’s a really nice lady, has been teaching for 30 years..but I just dont get the material at all. I have perfect attendance, and yet it’s like I’ve never been to class when I sit down to take the quiz.
A month into the semester, I started meeting with a tutor. I pay $ 30 an hour. My tutor is a math professor at the university (I take my math class at the community college). When my tutor helps me fix tests, it all makes sense.
But still, I keep getting 1 out of 10 on quizzes. And a lot of the time my tutor looks and them and goes “that was the right answer…just not reduced quite enough. most teachers would have counted that as correct though.” or “you were so close–but then you just took a wrong step.”
I’ve done all the extra credit assignments. Today I met with my teacher, and asked if i should withdraw (the deadline for a W is next week). I’m only at a 58%. She said I have the option of a W, or taking the final, and she will count the final AS MY GRADE. She also said “I’ve been seeing improvements.”
I met with my tutor, and asked what she thought I should do. See, ALL of my classes in the fall hinge on this class– I cannot take Precalc, or chem without this class as the prereq. Meaning I either pass now, or take it over the summer. The college DOES NOT offer this class online. So I would have to take the class in person–meaning I wouldnt be able to work, be a camp counselor, or go on a trip. The only college that offers this class online is across the state, and I would have to jump thru hoops and enroll there and then get into to the class and it would be a huge pain in the ***.
So I can withdraw now, and just have W, or take the final, and risk gambling and getting a D, which stays on my transcript…FOREVER.
My teacher allows us to use notes on the final, and my tutor said we could rig up a step by step problem guide, so I could just follow it and be ok. She also said I’ve improved a lot since WE FIRST STARTED meeting, and in most teachers classes, who grade easier or for effort on a quiz, I would already be in the passing range.
What should I do? The final is 40 questions–10 TAKE HOME, and 30 in class.

Answer:

Answer by gmcoffee
If you really think you can’t get better than a D in the class, you should drop it. Have you made sure that this class counts as a prereq for the other classes you mentioned even if you get a D? I know some classes, you have to get a C or better. But as you said, withdrawing will create other major problems.

But if you think you can get a C or even a B -, study really hard and take the final. I’ve had a physics class like that where I understood absolutely nothing. I had to read the textbook for the class several times before I even began to understand what was going on. Literally, I would read the same sentence or paragraph like 5 times, over and over again. If I still didn’t understand it, I marked it and then asked the professor the next day. It really comes down to how determined you are. If you really want a better grade, and you are willing to work for it, you’ll get it!

Question: Does anyone else feel this way???
Has anyone noticed that over the past 12 years of NASCAR, the races have become longer, the rules seem to have taken the fun out of the sport?

My parents have been NASCAR fans since 1959, and my brothers and sisters and I were raised on watching the races, we’ve traveled to watch them, we’ve sold cars to by tickets. But what none of us like is the fact that all the fun seems to have been drained from the sport. All the “NEW IMPROVEMENTS” and rules have made the sport into something (imo) that is all about $ $ $ $ and not back home fun!
Granted I understand that the $ and the sponsors are what makes the NASCAR world go round, but what about what the fans themselves want to see. I dont know about you but I’d rather watch short track races over the super speedways. The longer they are the worse they are getting.

so what kinds of complaints do you have about the “NEW AND IMPROVED” NASCAR?
Do you also agree that the way that NASCAR awards penilties to drivers, teams, and owners can be slightly over exagerated and rediculous?

Answer:

Answer by mattywins
new car sux

by robertDouglass

Question: Is Microsoft 2007 the most inane thing you’ve ever encountered?
Four months ago, my “day job” employer upgraded to Microsoft’s latest creation. I’m finding Word and Excel enormously irritating, what with the complete redesign and the new “ribbon” thing instead of the longtime traditional drop-down menus.

Anyone else find them a pain in the butt? I’m actually very fast in learning new things, but having used the “traditional” windows set up for 15 years I just find this drastic redesign off-putting. It’s particularly hard since I have XP on my home computer and have no plans to change.

Oh, and the really swell thing about 2007 is that with all the “improvements” they’ve made, the Help function continues to be as helpful as trying to converse in Greek with a chimpanzee. You type in two very specific key words, and up pops inane things that have nothing whatsoever to do with either word you typed, such as a query of “Insert arrows” resulting in vital topics like, “How to order wine at a French restaurant in Lithuania.”

What do you think?

Answer:

Answer by jess
i loove your analogies, nothing conveys frustration like a large dose of some classic sarcasm.